I didn’t always believe myself to be insecure. To be honest, for a long time I didn’t even truly understand what it meant to be insecure. Then for an even longer time I was too egocentric to allow myself to be vulnerable enough to admit I was insecure. I heard the term float around but would be oblivious to its affect; partly in avoidance of the conversation and partly in consideration for my truest, deepest feelings. It’s safe to say my relationship with insecurity has been challenging, bouncing from unaware to unconscious to here and now where I can admit, almost proudly, that I’m insecure. And I say proudly because the fog of denial I used to live in was not real, it was shallow and caused me a lot of unnecessary internal conflict.
Today I know better. I acknowledge that there are aspects about myself that, while I love without limits or conditions, I definitely want to transform! And realizing that I was in-secure (lacking in security) has made me more accountable to being present with my insecurities in order to heal them. Truth is, my insecurities can be remedied! ALL INSECURITIES CAN! They will take time and effort from different levels of my inner being, an investment I’ve been avoiding because of F.E.A.R – False Evidence Appearing Real, nevertheless it is possible. ‘Cause at their roots, my insecurities mostly come from traumatic past experiences that are triggered by feelings of imperfection and worthless, which I KNOW aren’t the real me.
I now see a goddess in bloom where I once saw a broken, powerless being. All due to the fact that I’ve become one with what I’ve been most scared to embrace; my (whole) self. It’s really not our lack that scares us but the UNIVERSAL TRUTH that we are SO much, that in fact we are ALL THAT IS. And frankly, I’ve been satisfied with remaining still where I’ve wanted, ultimately, to adorn the world with all that I am unapologetically! And in the interest of bareness, I am still blooming. I am still on a journey of self-mastery. However I’ve taken my power back by staying present with ALL of me, the parts that are whole as much as the parts that are in recovery because presence is the change maker. Once you and You are on the same page, no-thing, no-one and no temporary emotion (including insecurity) can derail you from your truth; Wholeness. You were whole before you became manifest on Earth, you are whole NOW and you will always be whole, because your source is limitlessness… And so are You.
Now Look in the mirror and say “I AM WHOLE!” Sit with it. Reflect on it. Know it as your truth… ‘Cause I sure do!